It's always been you - God is pursuing you in all your relationships

Embrace your destiny and walk in his grace - he is your strength when you are weak, he lifts you up when you can't reach.....

Hello my friends, here I go again, this may be the last blog for a while, as I am headed out for my summer vacation.....and as you know, from last year, I may not always have internet, or not much to say.....

Here is what I learnt the other day: God made it totally clear, that I have to let the love he fills my heart and my very soul with, flow out to those I love - I am not to hold back, even if it's such a legitimate thing as trying to protect myself, which is human nature at it's best, and human nature getting in the way of the true and perfect love, that can be found in Christ alone (Christ in your fellow man - being your lover or your friend)..... as mere humans, we want to protect our hearts from getting hurt, and hold back our love - yet, when we are completely committed to serve God, we cannot and should  not hold back.

These last weeks have been hard, because I did that - protecting myself, holding back my love, thus not being real and true to the love that was flowing through my heart......I lost my Peace and my Joy in the course of protecting myself from getting hurt. This ultimately hurt even more. - Plus, what I was afraid of didn't even happen...

Withholding your love makes you not routed in his love anymore - and the relationship with #theloverofmysoul - aka Jesus Christ, is, what fuels my day, energizes me for the task at hand....because I fell short of understanding his message - that it truly never is about the people in our life, but about his love flowing to them through us or vice versa. I was getting caught up in the drama of life again......but he wants me to look at the bigger picture at all times, that with our human eyes and distorted understanding, we will always fall short of his glory, but if we let Christ in us lead the way, Christ loving us beyond our fear of getting hurt - actually him blessing us beyond measure, if and when we keep loving those around us, the way he wants us to love them, even if we are afraid of getting hurt in the here and now - when we trust him infinitely.

There is a song by #amygrantt called Giggle - and it explains it quite nicely. I know, you are wondering, where I fell short.....well, it's regarding the relationship that I have been having over the last 3 months.....and with my imminent travels to Europe, where I will finally meet him, there were great (old) fears surfacing, that the meeting may not happen, that the chemistry would not be there - even though I highly doubt that, but mostly I feared, that he had lost interest - yet I realized, that it was me reliving some pain of my past, when the man, I thought, God had for  me, never returned for me, and when my ex husband didn't fight for our relationship..... or even when my grandmother died.

All these things I had falsely attributed to them having lost interest, or me not measuring up, me not being valuable enough..... - well, God made it clear, that this was never the case. It was his love reaching out to me through every single man/person I met throughout the years.....and it's his love reaching out to me now - and time will tell, where this relationship will go, but this time I will not quit loving, just because I am afraid I might get hurt. I know, I will be fine, no matter how it turns out.....God is in control and I am trusting him, that he knows what's best for me - I am committed to go all the way this time, and not to withdraw, when things don't go according to my plan, for his plan is bigger - and he will carry me, to where I belong.

Grateful beyond measure, that he has taught me that, and that I can see it now - his thoughts are truly not our thoughts.....that's for sure, yet I don't have to know more than what I need to keep walking by faith and not by sight. God will always love you more than you will ever grasp, and he will bring people into your life, that will love you for him, cause they are willing vessels. That's truly all that counts.

Not sure if I made sense today - I sure hope so......
Be blessed, my dear friends - may God continue to bless you always - 
Amen

Where do you lead me, my God...

Embrace your Destiny and walk in His Grace - He is your Strength when you are weak, He lifts you up when you can't reach.....

Hello my sweet friends, I am in a bit of turmoil today (last Thursday :)), as I can feel the Lord preparing me for something.....I am reading old journals, realizing, that in 1994/1995 and 1997 I have been where I am today, very much in tune with God, listening to the Holy Spirit and obeying his call on my life. Reading my Prayer Journal, shows me, that somewhere in the time between 1997 and 2011 I have lost touch....I don't really quite understand why - I can come up with a few ideas:

1. Giving up my dream, to be reunited with the one, I knew, God had brought into my life for a greater  purpose - he had been granting me my biggest wish, to meet the man, he had for me - he brought him to me in 1995 - unfortunately, we messed up.....

2. Giving up on many of my values and dreams of how I wanted to find true love - settling for good enough.....cause I thought I wasn't valuable enough for an above the line kind of relationship, as none had ever happened over the years.

Today I know, that this has been the devil's form of identity theft, that he is so brilliant at conveying to us......in retrospect, I know, that none of this was true.....for I know today, that I have left several men stranded, out of fear of not measuring up, out of insecurity. I could have chosen either one, but I hadn't found my true identity in Christ just yet..... - thankfully these are the things of the past. Today I know, whose I am, and who defines my worth - the one, who created me in the first place, the one who created me his masterpiece, the one who bestowed Dignity and Respect upon me. Thankfully today I walk in this truth and it has set me free.

Yet, looking back, and taking stock, where I am today, there have been dreams, that never came true, some that are just about to emerge - I am on my road to my destiny, that I know, for a fact.

Today, when I read my heartfelt prayers, for the one, that I had thought to be the one for me, I cried....for all these years, we have not been given a chance to reconnect.....probably out of fear again - his or mine, I don't know. Yet today I am just stepping out in faith, into dating again.....the one that I reconnected with - or maybe I should say, who reconnected with me, is one that I am realizing today, that not only did I have a huge crush on him a quarter of a century ago, but that I truly cared already then - so we'll see, where this is going - all I know is, that he makes me feel seen, heard, and cared for - and this is such a gift - one I was rarely given, or maybe one I wasn't able to receive before, due to fears in the deepest parts of my heart - thankfully, Jesus has come in and healed my heart, and now I am finally ready to receive. 

So now I am praying, that I would not get carried away, but stay my course with God keeping Center Stage (his rightful place) - praying and hoping, that my man will accept, that I am all and foremost God's daughter.... - I want to never compromise this, my first love - I hope he understands that.

For any man, without God won't do it for me, I can't do that - I surrender tonights date into the most capable hands of my beloved Daddy in heaven, I know, he is ultimately in control - and I feel that he has brought us here, so he will see us through.....

Trusting.......again, standing at the cliff and jumping off.....into the arms of the one, who holds my tomorrow - knowing full well, that he will either catch me, or he will give me wings to fly.

This takes all the strength I have - and I need all his strength, to jump.....but I am ready.... to receive all my Daddy has for me. - My prayer for tonight is for the Strength and the Peace we can only find in Christ and the Guidance of the Holy Spirit along with the Blessing of the Father....

In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray - Amen - 
I love y'all, my sweet friends :)
May God continue to bless you.