Embrace your Destiny and walk in His Grace - He is your Strength when you are weak, He lifts you up when you can't reach.....
OMG, I don't even know, where to start....
Yesterday morning I went into the UPS Store here in town, cause I had to send something to Switzerland urgently.....in there I started talking to an Indian couple, and we had a very interesting conversation about India, languages and life in general. During this conversation I told them, that I had been very intrigued by the Indian Culture, through a book that touched me to the core in my young girl years. The title is 'Andschana' - the story of an Indian girl.....this story gripped my heart, I must have read that book at least 20 times, sometimes starting right at the beginning, after I had just finished it. I hadn't thought about this book in ages - the people at the store told me, what Andschana means - it means Unknown...... - I was thrilled to learn that - I did at one point want to start studying Sanskrit, as this is dealing with the root words of many languages (and since my passion is people and languages, that made a lot of sense to me) - sadly that never did happen. But it's not too late yet....maybe I will be able to study some even now.
Afterwards I went to my 'Gestalt Therapy' Session......and there I spoke about the loss of my dear friend Gianna (Dschana - in this case also meaning 'Knowing') - and I was challenged, to pretend talking to her (in front of my therapist) and tell her how sorry I was and how much I regret not having gotten in touch with her over the last 17+ years......as I can do these kinds of things, when I am alone, I felt weird, doing it in front of my therapist.....couldn't do it. The relationship with Gianna seemed too sacred, to make a fool of myself in front of my therapist. That made me - and my therapist - realize that there was a place within, where I still wanted to hide myself - I didn't want to be ridiculed or make a fool of myself in front of her.
Here is the key: these things have happened in the past with my siblings, peers, but the root goes deeper - Here it comes, and please don't discard what I am saying, cause you know, I am writing only what the Holy Spirit allows me to write......I believe in Reincarnation, or maybe I should say I strongly believed..... - you can find a a passage in the bible, where it's mentioned, by Jesus himself: Matthew 17:10-13 - Jesus refers to John the Baptist as being the reincarnate Elijah (maybe this only refers to the spiritual make up of Elijah, that was alive in John the Baptist) - but it doesn't really matter, as today we only know in part - when we reach heaven, we will know in full. Today I am not as adamant about it anymore, than I was several years ago, when I attended a Bible College in Burlington, I believe that this is part of God's redemption plan. For if it wasn't, God would indeed be a cruel God, for there is people that would never have a chance to meet Jesus, due to their cultural circumstances and personal make-up. These people would be bound to spent eternity in hell - and God would not allow that at all.
Today I think that we are all connected to the one source - the essence of the eternal soul, and thus we resonate with a lot of things here on earth. Jesus came to heal our hearts and bring salvation and renewing of the mind - he can do that in one life, if you listen closely to the nuddgings of the Holy Spirit, but with some it takes more than a lifetime. Jesus is the key to heaven, as he died for all our sins, past, present and future, and he bestows Grace on the Sinner - yet he can only do so much, as the believer allows him to. Therefore, through the ages, the soul has incarnated in many many people, always drawing us closer into the Presence of God.....
Anyway, to make a long story short - I believe that the story of Andschana is my own, or at least I resonate with many aspects of her story.....Andschana is on a journey to trust in her own abilities, and to stand up for what she believes.....yet she is still in the realm of the unknowing. Gianna, my dear friend from the States, who I know today was my spiritual mother......has introduced me to SRF 'Self Realization Fellowship', which was brought to California from India through Paramahansa Yogananda. He taught a special kind of Yoga (Kriya Yoga). I studied his teachings for a while and also learnt the technique, which helped me to tap into the realization of who I was in Christ.
So, friends, please don't through Baby Jesus out with the wash......Yoga is not of the devil, it just is a different way to attain a deeper relationship with God - and God will guide you forward. In 1995 I decided, that I wanted to pursue Christianity rather than the Yoga path - yet I still feel the benefits of this period in my life. Jesus is as much at work in believers of other creeds. And it's not the rules and regulations of one creed or another, that count in that sacred relationship, but it is letting Jesus lead the way.
My point being, that I believe, that the root to my 'not wanting to make a fool out of myself' in front my therapist lies deeper than just this life - it may only be rooted in my historical ancestry - but I believe it's an experience that I resonate with, that took place in India - in a different era, and it can be found in the book 'Andschana'. It's not important, if this was my life or not, it is not relevant, if reincarnation is true or not......it only is important, that my body responded very strongly to this surfacing knowledge: My body was all of the sudden void of all muscle tonus and I got very tired. My tensed up shoulders finally let go of a burden that I have carried around for far too long.
I am sharing this here, and I know it will be considered controversial, to say the least, but thanks to the Spirit of God living within me, I can be bold, not being afraid of the judgement and criticism that might follow this post.....because I am safe in him forever.
I love y'all and I hope you'll give me the benefit of the doubt and try this on for size, just like Paul says in his letter to the Thessalonians: Do not stifle the Holy Spirit, . Do not scoff at the Prophecies, but test everything that is said.....I know Jesus says that at another place in the Gospel - and if it's not for you, then let's just agree to disagree.
All the Honour and Glory belong to God, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
Amen - Selah
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